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| http://curtisamongfriends.yolasite.com/blog/reconciliation-in-wordle |
One of the challenges I faced in this process of reconciliation is that the process of confession and reconciliation have many cultural components. These two men are from very different cultures. How one would usually approach reconciliation was not at all like the way the other would anticipate the reconciliation process. Another big challenge was the fact that while I was pretty familiar with the culture of one man, I knew next to nothing of the other. I had my own learning to do before I could begin to help them. Three resources were key: a book called The Peacemaker by Ken Sande, two people (Stephen & Dolly), and prayer.
The Peacemaker is a great book for anyone to read. Whether you are hoping to reconcile a relationship or perhaps a friend has asked you to help, this is worth picking up. Stephen & Dolly are a couple from my church who were able to help me with my cultural ignorance! While not exactly from the same culture of which I was ignorant, they have a similar background. I am so grateful for their help and guidance, answering questions and giving insights.
During our time in Thailand (to attend a conference we have attended for several summers and where I have provided member care for the past 4 or 5 years) I met with each man a few times talking about their own expectations, hopes, wishes as well as the necessity of letting go of having everything their own way. This was not only a time to come together personally but also culturally. Let me tell you, in the best of times meeting-in-the-middle with someone from a different culture is not easy, never mind when there is past hurt. Of course we also met together and during that time grace abounded from each man for the other and from God over the whole thing. To let go of cultural expectations of each other, to strive to understand where each man was coming from, to believe the other desired the best for this relationship going forward was a blessing to watch.
This is one of the highlights of working in member care - coming alongside people as they seek to honour God in their work and in their relationships.
Stay tuned for some exciting developments in MK care as well as some of the letdowns in this work.
Thank you for this post, Brandie.
ReplyDeleteWhat you did in Thailand is a picture of what God is calling us all to do, everyday.
We see all of the division and polarization and injustice here in Canada, in the U.S. and around the world, and if each one of us would sit and listen to our hearts and allow that Wisdom to s speak, God would show us ways that we can impact the movement toward bitterness and exclusion that the world is now moving in. It's not always a matter of picking up a sign and marching. Of being arrested, or mocked.
Often, it's a matter of confronting our own tendency to exclude, our own fear, our own indifference. We can start there and then the love and courage needed to do what you did for these two gentlemen will arise in our hearts. The ability to see opportunities where we can effect change will arise as well. All the while, we'll be healing our own hearts, seeing the fear hatred we harbour, and allowing God to free us. It's really hard work you do. But the hardest part is the choosing to start. Thank you for choosing the work-path you have.
You have been trained and equipped for it, and I'm sure you have garnered the benefits of helping others heal, for your own heart. That's how God works. He's the Best.
I really look forward to your posts because I know I'll come away thinking about something in my own life that your words apply to. (That's God at work too!)
Bless ya'
Linda Millar