Our colleagues leave China once every two years for a group conference.
It is a chance to see friends whom I would never otherwise see.
It is a chance to worship with a large body of believers.
It is a chance to encourage one another through stories of how God has worked since we were last together! It has moved my heart deeply to hear that Jesus has been introduced to people in some very spiritually dry, barren areas.
It is a chance to walk with each other through tough times. One couple, who has only been in China for one year must return home for a time as the husband, just this week, was told he has a tumour. Another family leaving on a home assignment is unsure of their return because of an illness affecting one family member that local doctors have been unable to diagnosis.
It is a chance to witness change. Since last conference there have been 12 children born to our colleagues. At this conference we said good-bye to 12 teenagers who will graduate from high school before our next conference (and so will likely not be back). Some of these teenagers were the same age as Eli is now when we first came to China. I have photos of them allowing Eli, 1.5 yrs at the time, to "play" soccer with them!
It has been a chance for me to sit with a number of women and listen as the tell me about their past year. The struggles they have had. The loneliness that they felt. The struggles in their family at home. They are tired, they are worn out. With some I have prayed, with some I have listened, with some I have been able to offer good advice. This has been near and dear to my heart since coming through our previous term in China.
This is my family in China, there are more than 300 adults and children, and it is good to be with them again!
But this joy has required being removed, at least physically, from my extended family in Canada.
Looking to sell a house, looking to buy a house, continuing education, birthdays, labour strikes, maybe moving across the country, being on the stage, celebrating together in the good times and supporting in the hard times...
These are things that I will miss being present for, experiencing with my family.
This is my family in Canada, there are ten of them, and it will be hard to be physically absent for such events for the next few years.
More than 300 and 12. These are my two families and I love them both but they will never come together and so, it would seem, that my heart will never be quite whole no matter what location I may be in.
Friday 27 January 2012
Monday 2 January 2012
Count the Cost
I recently became certified to administer a premarital/marriage enrichment course. A significant portion of this course calls attention to 'families of origin' (the families that we were raised in) on the premise that when we marry someone we are also, to some extent, marrying their family. It also asks questions about education, income, spending habits, conflict resolutions styles, relationship styles etc. The point is to get the couple to be aware of all those areas that may be relevant to the marriage and to begin to talk about them. The less that catches us by surprise, because there will be stuff in our marriage relationships that do catch us by surprise, the better. This is similar to a count the cost occasion. Helping you to be aware of many of the variables which will effect your marriage.
When Jeff and I began the process of working overseas we had to do numerous testing inventories: mental, spiritual, psychological, relational. Churches had to provide letters of support. We were evaluated during a two week long orientation course. The difficulty of this life was pointed out to us. In short, we had a fairly good idea of what we were getting ourselves into, much like our marriage. Again, we had the opportunity to count the cost of heading overseas.
In Luke 14: 25-33, Jesus tells his disciples to count the cost of following him. I knew, fairly well, the personal cost of choosing to live this life. Our orientation program, training, friends, and books made sure we knew there was a cost to what we would do. But there was something, as far as my memory can remember, we were not told about. And though it is in plain sight in this passage in Luke - my eyes were pretty shut to it. The cost of following him is not just personal. The expense is not paid just by me. It is paid by my children, by my parents, my siblings, my friends. I suppose it's like being told to foot the bill for an event you knew about but didn't get to attend.
During times of transition, especially where I'm getting ready to travel from Canada to China, the cost to others hits me square in the gut. My life choices cause: separation, sadness, missed milestones, birthdays that are often remembered a day late or a day early and too often are never celebrated in the same location two years in a row...for other people, regardless of if they like it or not. It's hard to take kids away from grandparents knowing that your oldest is currently 8.5 and, potentially, the next time we all come together again he will be almost 12. It's difficult to ask a good friend to remain a close friend despite the miles, the time difference, and the likely possibility of not seeing them for the next three years.
It's one thing to count the cost for yourself and find it acceptable, but it's a whole other thing to count the cost for someone else and tell them they have to accept it whether they like it or not!
So to my friends, my family, my kiddos, thank you for covering part of the cost rather than just walking away. I realise, with each passing season, how much I have asked of you and am grateful that you continue to cover part of the cost of this adventure.
When Jeff and I began the process of working overseas we had to do numerous testing inventories: mental, spiritual, psychological, relational. Churches had to provide letters of support. We were evaluated during a two week long orientation course. The difficulty of this life was pointed out to us. In short, we had a fairly good idea of what we were getting ourselves into, much like our marriage. Again, we had the opportunity to count the cost of heading overseas.
In Luke 14: 25-33, Jesus tells his disciples to count the cost of following him. I knew, fairly well, the personal cost of choosing to live this life. Our orientation program, training, friends, and books made sure we knew there was a cost to what we would do. But there was something, as far as my memory can remember, we were not told about. And though it is in plain sight in this passage in Luke - my eyes were pretty shut to it. The cost of following him is not just personal. The expense is not paid just by me. It is paid by my children, by my parents, my siblings, my friends. I suppose it's like being told to foot the bill for an event you knew about but didn't get to attend.
During times of transition, especially where I'm getting ready to travel from Canada to China, the cost to others hits me square in the gut. My life choices cause: separation, sadness, missed milestones, birthdays that are often remembered a day late or a day early and too often are never celebrated in the same location two years in a row...for other people, regardless of if they like it or not. It's hard to take kids away from grandparents knowing that your oldest is currently 8.5 and, potentially, the next time we all come together again he will be almost 12. It's difficult to ask a good friend to remain a close friend despite the miles, the time difference, and the likely possibility of not seeing them for the next three years.
It's one thing to count the cost for yourself and find it acceptable, but it's a whole other thing to count the cost for someone else and tell them they have to accept it whether they like it or not!
So to my friends, my family, my kiddos, thank you for covering part of the cost rather than just walking away. I realise, with each passing season, how much I have asked of you and am grateful that you continue to cover part of the cost of this adventure.
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